


Smile

by degenerategarbage



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Recovery, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/degenerategarbage/pseuds/degenerategarbage
Summary: Akira, desperate to make amends to the girl he failed, brings flowers to her hospital room.An attempt at a pseudo-confidant for Shiho Suzui.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Suzui Shiho, Amamiya Ren/Suzui Shiho, Kurusu Akira & Suzui Shiho, Kurusu Akira/Suzui Shiho, Persona 5 Protagonist/Suzui Shiho
Comments: 20
Kudos: 208





	1. Peonies

**Author's Note:**

> Preface
> 
> I’ve been holding onto the somewhat disjointed fragments of this story since last summer, and I thought it was about time I finally started trying to pull them all together. This first chapter is still something of a rough draft, and while it’s the part that has already been subject to the most revisions and rewrites, there’s still a small chance that I’ll come back to it in the future. Bear in mind that the bulk of the text predates the release of Persona 5 Royal, meaning I haven’t incorporated any of the changes to the game’s story made by that release. As such, it also doesn’t account for the existence of Takuto Maruki or Kasumi Yoshizawa, although neither character would have been terribly relevant here anyway.
> 
> That’s all from me, thank you for reading!

  


Akira Kurusu raised his hand to the door and lowered it without knocking, for what must have been the tenth time in so many minutes. Looking down in shame, he realized his knuckles had whitened from the force of his grip on the hastily bought bouquet of peonies by his side. Shaking his head vigorously, he straightened the poor flowers and raised his hand once more.

It really wasn't so difficult.

Just knock, walk into the room, and say hello. Give her the flowers and tell her you're rooting for her. Tell her how much you admire her tenacity.

_And,_ added the darker, more selfish part of his mind, _Perhaps she’ll deign to grace you with that smile again._

\--

Akira ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. Yet another student had refused to implicate Kamoshida. If they were all going to keep defending the man who was obviously abusing them, then what was the point? What more could they do?

As he approached the door, his path was blocked by a girl, whose dark hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She seemed to be staring off into the distance, and it was only at his arrival that she seemed to snap out of her reverie. 

The first thing Akira noticed about Shiho Suzui was, as he would come to loathe himself for, not the many injuries she was sporting. Nor was it her poorly concealed limp or dejected posture.

No, his first impression of Shiho had been far more shallow.

__

_‘She’s cute.’_

__

Those two words were the first to cross his mind at the sight of those large, brown eyes and that shy smile.

"Oh, sorry," She said, shaking her head. "I'm in your way." She made to step aside, before tilting her head, looking at him strangely. "You're the transfer student, right?"

Akira grit his teeth. Another gossip-hungry schoolgirl was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now.

"Yeah," He said curtly.

"Hey, um..." The girl said, apparently sensing his foul mood. "I know it's not really my business, but are you okay?" When Akira didn't answer, she elaborated. "I mean, I know it must be difficult with all these terrible rumours flying around."

Akira stared blankly at her, eyes only now fully absorbing the girl before him. She was sporting several fresh bruises, including a particularly nasty looking one above her right eye. Beyond those, there were an assortment of significantly older looking bruises, and her right leg was concealed by a black brace. She rubbed her arm uncomfortably, seemingly noticing the way he had scanned her various injuries.

"It's just... I have a friend who gets judged unfairly a lot of the time because of the way she looks. And I know how hard it is to feel like you don't fit in."

"They don't bother me," He lied.

"Oh," The girl said, before giving him a small smile. "That's good." She shook her head once more. "Sorry, I'm still in your way. I'll see you around." 

As she began to move, however, Akira spoke abruptly, stopping her in her tracks.

"Are you okay?" He asked. The girl's brow furrowed briefly, and her mouth tightened as if in pain, before returning to a neutral expression.

"I'm fine. Just some bruises from practice," She answered stiffly, to Akira's dismay. "I really have to get going now."

As the girl limped away, Akira steeled his resolve. They were going to find a way to expose Kamoshida for what he'd done. Somehow, he'd see justice.

\--

And so he had. But not soon enough. He’d failed the only person who had taken the time to look past the bullshit and glimpse the real person underneath.

She'd been through so much as a result of his inaction.

Not for the first time since arriving, Akira contemplated turning tail and leaving. Surely he had no business intruding on her recovery. And yet, here he still was, secretly, selfishly hoping that she’d be happy to see him.

"Akira!" Hissed the voice in his schoolbag. Morgana poked his head from the opening, visibly disgruntled. "Are we going in or not?"

"Get back in there!" Akira returned in kind, roughly shoving Morgana's head back from where it came. "Are you trying to get us caught?"

"We've been standing here forever!" Morgana whined, albeit soft enough not to be heard.

"Is someone out there?" A soft voice called from inside the room. Akira's heart lurched to a stop. No turning back now.

Steeling himself, Akira knocked on the door and waited with bated breath for a reply.

"Come in," The voice affirmed quietly. 

Pushing his way into the room, Akira laid his eyes on Shiho Suzui. She looked like she'd just walked through hell. An IV drip hung from her arm, and her hair was tangled and greasy, hanging limply at her shoulders instead of in her usual ponytail. Her eyes were sunken, and her brow knit with stress. A thin blanket was draped over her legs, and he didn't fail to notice the way she pulled it just a little tighter when his eyes moved over it. Despite it all, however, she seemed more alert now than he'd ever seen her at Shujin.

"Kurusu-san?" She forced out.

"Hi, Suzui-san," Akira mumbled, averting his gaze, which he realized had been lingering. "Sorry to drop by unannounced, I just thought I'd bring you some flowers." He held the peonies up lamely, as if to prove his intentions. Hurriedly, he set his bag down and began fumbling around for the glass vase he'd bought, grateful for an excuse to look busy instead of standing awkwardly. He was placing the flowers gently on Shiho's nightstand when a sharp yelp came from the bed.

Whirling around in alarm, Akira narrowed his eyes at the offending party.

"Finally!" Morgana purred, perching himself next to Shiho's feet. "You have no idea how long I've been trapped in there with that stupid vase," He said to the bewildered girl.

"Morgana!" Akira admonished. "Get back in the bag! I don't want to get thrown out!"

"No way!" Morgana snapped back. "I've been in that bag for hours! At least let me stretch my legs!"

Akira's response died in his throat at the sound of a soft giggle from Shiho. The sound was light, and melodic, and the tension seemed to crumble away under it.

"Do you argue with your cat a lot, Kurusu-san?" She smiled at him.

"Only when he argues back," Akira chuckled in response. "Which is most of the time."

"Hey, I resent that!" Morgana interrupted, bristling angrily.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Shiho giggled. "He's a loud little guy."

As their laughter died out, silence descended over them again, neither sure how to speak to the other.

"I didn't expect to see you," Shiho eventually spoke. "What made you decide to come visit?"

Akira paused. What could he say to her? That she had unwittingly caused the formation of the Phantom Thieves? That he was wracked with guilt for not stopping her attacker sooner?

That he'd found himself unable to forget the way his heart had raced each and every time she’d smiled at him?

"I'm sorry," He eventually said, voice weak.

"Sorry?" Shiho repeated. "For what?"

__

_For letting this happen to you._

__

"For intruding," He said aloud. "You should be resting." He stood up swiftly, grabbing his bag and gesturing for Morgana to get in.

"Wait," Shiho stammered. "Don't say that." He turned back to her, waiting for her to continue. "You came all this way," She said. "You should stay for at least a little while." She gestured firmly to the chair, and Akira relented, sitting back down. Morgana shot him a smug look, which he refrained from acknowledging, before curling up and appearing to doze off. Smiling slightly at her victory, Shiho spoke again.

"How are you fitting in at school?"

Akira stared at her disbelievingly, before suppressing a sigh and answering.

"Not well, but Ann and Ryuji are good friends, so I'll manage."

"That's good!" Shiho beamed. "I was worried about you not having anyone on your side. I know that's tough."

Akira shook his head. Ann hadn't been kidding when she'd said the girl was too kind for her own good.

"I'll manage. What about you? How have you been?" Akira asked politely, but regretted it the instant the words left his mouth. Shiho's smile faltered, and she looked down at her feet.

"I still can't use my legs," She whispered, face pensive. "And it's hard to stay awake sometimes. I'm still on a lot of pain medication."

"I'm sorry," Akira repeated weakly.

"Don't be," Shiho told him with a sad smile. "It's not your fault."

__

_It is._

__

"Right," He said, not daring to meet her eyes.

"Besides the obvious," Shiho pressed on. "Things are actually getting better. Ann and I had a long talk after I woke up. We agreed not to hide anything from each other any more, even if we think it's for the other's own good." She shifted uncomfortably, and opened her mouth as if to continue, before thinking better of it.

"That's good," Akira said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice. "She talks about you a lot. It's obvious how much you care about each other." Shiho smiled warmly at this.

"She talks about you a lot too, you know. I swear, I can't talk to her for ten minutes without hearing 'Akira-kun is so reliable', or 'Akira-kun is so smart'." Shiho rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically.

"That sounds like a real nightmare," Akira said, hoping his efforts not to blush were successful. "I'll try to be a worse friend from now on, for your sake." A small twinge of pride swelled in his chest when Shiho laughed.

"In all seriousness, though," She continued. "I'm really glad you took the time to look past the rumours and try to see Ann for who she really is. Not a lot of people do that for her." Akira shrugged.

“I know how that feels."

"Sorry," Shiho looked downcast.

"Why? Other than Ryuji, you were the only one who bothered to actually speak to me."

"Oh, but I..."

Shiho's protest was cut short by a knock at the door behind them. Morgana, quickly leaping from Shiho's bed, scampered into Akira's open bag. A young-looking woman in white nursing scrubs stepped into the room, and looked briefly surprised at Akira's presence.

"I'm sorry, young man, but we need to run some check ups with Suzui-san, and I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

"That's okay," Akira said, standing and pulling his bag over one shoulder. "I should probably get going anyway." He turned towards Shiho, who looked a little put out. "Goodbye, Suzui-san."

"Oh," The girl seemed briefly taken aback. "Yeah, goodbye. Thank you again for the flowers."

"It's nothing," Akira shrugged, before making his exit.

\--

"Hey, Shiho!" Ann greeted her closest friend cheerily. "I brought you some... flowers?" She stared blankly at the bouquet of flowers already sitting on Shiho's nightstand. Flowers she certainly hadn't brought. She was snapped from her reverie by a light giggle.

"They're nice, aren't they? They're from Kurusu-kun."

"Huh?" Ann gaped. "Akira was here?"

"He came to visit yesterday." Well, she hadn't expected that.

"That sounds like Akira, alright. Always trying to make people happy."

"Yes, it was sweet of him, even if it was a bit awkward. I see why you like him so much." She shot Ann a knowing glance.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

Shiho only laughed.

\--

Akira's hand shot instinctively to his phone at the sound of his message alert. An unknown number. Curious, he set down his book.

****

**???: Hey, I asked Ann for your number. I hope that's okay.  
???: I was kind of hoping you'd come visit again tomorrow, if you want.  
???: Well, think about it, if you're free.  
???: This is Suzui, by the way.  
???: Shiho, obviously. **

Akira stared blankly at the words on screen until they'd blended together into a kind of greyish mush, before a rapid-fire sequence of alerts broke him out of his stupor.

****

**Ann: Hey, Shiho told me you went to visit her yesterday.  
Ann: How come you didn't mention it?  
Ann: She asked me for your number by the way, and I figured you wouldn't mind, so I gave it to her.  
Ann: Hope that's okay. **

****

Akira rolled his eyes before typing out a response.

****

**Akira: Yeah, that's fine. I didn't mention it because I kind of decided to go at the last minute.  
Ann: So last minute you decided to go buy a vase and flowers first?  
Akira: I was already at Rafflesia anyway. I work there part time.  
Ann: Oh.  
Ann: You never mentioned that either.  
Akira: How did you think I bought our weapons and gear?  
Ann: Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I just get protective of Shiho.  
Akira: It's okay, I know how much she means to you. **

****

Akira, hoping that the situation was now sufficiently diffused, quickly tapped out a reply to Shiho, before tossing his phone into the seat next to him.

****

**Akira: I'll come by after school.  
Shiho: Great! I'll see you then! **

****

\--

Akira's nerves began to get the better of him as he walked towards Shiho's room. Yes, she'd asked him to come this time, but he also still didn't know her very well, even if Ann tended to describe her in great detail. Then again, she didn't exactly know him either, and she'd still requested his presence. The least he could do was show up. Wrenching himself from his thoughts, he knocked on the pale wooden door and entered at the soft "Come in" from the other side. Shiho, he thought to himself, looked noticeably healthier than she had two days prior. Her hair was markedly cleaner, and she was sitting straighter, her eyes considerably brighter.

"Hi, Kurusu-kun." 

Akira shook his head at being addressed such.

"Please, just Akira is fine," He said as he pulled a chair up to her bed.

"Sure," She paused, looking around the room for something to talk about. After what must have been a full minute of this futile searching, Shiho shook her head in frustration.  
"I'll be honest with you, Akira-kun," She started. "I had an ulterior motive for asking you here today." 

Akira raised an eyebrow.

"And what's that?"

Shiho's cheeks reddened a little.

"Well..." She stammered. "They want me to start physical therapy for my legs next week." Akira blinked. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but this wasn't it. "And they said it'd be good to have someone with me. You know, for moral support."

When Akira said nothing, she continued.

"Well, both my parents are pretty busy. Dad works a lot, and Mom is still searching for a school outside Tokyo that'll accept me. We're probably going to have to move too, so they've both been occupied with that." She rambled quickly.

"Why not ask Ann?" Akira asked. "You know she'd want to be there."

Shiho frowned a little.

"I know," She mumbled. "But I don't think I'm ready for her to see me like that yet."

"Okay," Akira nodded. "But then, why me?"

Shiho looked away.

"I don't really have any other friends," She said quietly. "And Ann's always talking about how reliable you are." She turned back to him with a nervous laugh. "But if you can't, or don't want to, that's fine, I completely understand."

"I don't mind at all, it's just..." Akira trailed off. "We don't really know each other, outside of what Ann tells us." He shrugged.

"Well," Shiho said thoughtfully. "Why don't we get to know each other then?" After a short pause, a smile spread onto Akira's face, one which Shiho gladly returned.

"I'd like that," He said. He put out his hand, which Shiho reached over to shake. "I'm Akira Kurusu."

"Great!" Shiho smiled warmly. "It's nice to meet you, Akira-kun. I'm Shiho Suzui, but please, call me 'Shiho.'"

"It's nice to meet you, Shiho."


	2. Trust

After the many stories with which Ann had regaled her, it was difficult for Shiho not to feel like she already knew Akira Kurusu. She was quite proud to see that he was exactly the quiet, reserved soul she’d seen him as, something she’d been quick to lord over Ann.

“Didn’t I tell you he wasn’t a bad person?” Shiho had smugly asked, while Ann buried her face in her hands.

“Yes, Shiho,” Ann glumly nodded. “You were right all along, he was exactly like you said.”

“What’s that?” Shiho teased. “I was what?”

“I said you were right all along, Shiho!” Ann groaned. “You don’t need to keep making fun of me!”

“I think I do, Ann,” Shiho shook her head. “It’s my responsibility as your best friend.” Shiho grinned triumphantly, while Ann pouted in response.

“You’re mean.”

“Sorry, Ann, I don’t make the rules.”

\--

"What's it like?" Shiho asked, tilting her head. "Living out there in the countryside, I mean."

"Oh, it's..." Akira trailed off, searching for an adequate description. "Different," He finished lamely. "To be honest, it's all I've ever known, and I'm still not sure what to make of city life. Most people seem like they’d rather I wasn’t here anyway. Even the guy who’s housing me treated me like dirt for the first few weeks."

Shiho gave him a confused look.

"Your parents aren't here with you?"

"No," He muttered bitterly. "Once I got stuck with my conviction, they pawned me off on the first person who would take me. They've never even met him. Don't get me wrong, Sojiro isn't so bad, even if he's a little gruff, but..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I haven't even heard from them since I left home."

"I'm sorry," Shiho whispered. "I had no idea. To be honest, I didn't even think all that stuff about you having a criminal record was true. It just seemed so..." She rubbed her arm uncomfortably. "Out there, I suppose. You didn't seem violent or dangerous. Just lonely."

"You can't always trust what you see," Akira countered. "What made you so sure?" 

Shiho shrugged with a sad smile.

"You reminded me of Ann," She said simply.

"I guess you saw right through me."

"Apparently not. You really have an assault conviction?" She looked into Akira's eyes, her expression one of mixed curiosity and sympathy. "You don't have to talk about it, it's just… It’s hard to believe, I guess. You don't seem like the type."

Akira hung his head contemplatively. It was true that he didn't like to recount the event that had brought him here, but then again, he felt like she'd earned his trust simply by believing in him. And given that he knew more than he would prefer to about what she had been through, he felt he owed it to her to show her that trust. Then _again_ , the story might perhaps ring too familiar to her, given recent events, and the last thing he wanted was to force her to relive the horrors she'd been put through. Realizing how long he'd been silent, he sighed, and began speaking quickly.

"I was on my way home from a friend's house, pretty late at night, and I heard people arguing. The guy - he was obviously drunk - kept yelling at this woman to get in his car, and she was struggling, and begging him to leave her alone. I called the police and tried to intervene. The guy got angry and took a swing at me, but he tripped over himself and fell. He cut his head pretty badly on the pavement. Eventually, the police showed up, and I think they recognized him, because they seemed to take his story at face value. He said I attacked him, and then strong armed the woman into testifying against me. There was no one else around, so there wasn't anything I could do but sit there and take the sentence."

He took a deep breath, composing himself.

"A year's probation, and a permanent stain on my record. Shujin was just about the only school that would take me, and… Well I guess you saw how that turned out." Shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear his mind, he looked up at Shiho, whose eyes were fixed firmly on her feet, her face contorted in anguish.

"That..." She said weakly, seemingly unable to finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry," Akira said quickly. "I thought it might be difficult to hear, but..." He trailed off, pausing to consider his words. "I trust you." He eventually decided to say.

She looked back up at him, her expression momentarily shifting to one of shock.

"That's awful, Akira," She said, her voice hoarse. "I'm so sorry. I would've understood if you didn't want to talk about it."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," He replied. "But I'd rather not dwell on it. It happened, and I've moved on."

"Right," Shiho nodded, although she still looked downcast. There were tears in her eyes, and she was fidgeting uncomfortably with her blankets.

A pang of guilt rattled through Akira’s chest.

"You and Ann have known each other since middle school, right?"

After a moment of tense silence, Shiho's expression visibly improved at the prospect of a new topic. She nodded, smiling softly.

"Has she told you the story of how we met?" She asked, wiping at her eyes.

"Something about you saying her painting sucked, right?"

"If you had seen it, you would understand," Shiho laughed. "It was so bad, I would've felt more guilty if I hadn't said anything."

\--

"I'm afraid visiting hours are over, young man," The nurse said as she stepped into the room. "I'll have to ask you to leave." 

Akira, checking his watch in surprise, found that he and Shiho had been talking for well over two hours. Glancing back up, he caught Shiho gazing contentedly out of her small window, before turning back to him, that soothing smile once again adorning her face, as the soft glow of the setting sun danced in her eyes.

"I didn't realize it was so late," He said abruptly, standing and pulling his bag over his shoulder.

"Me neither," Shiho said, watching as he prepared to leave, absent-mindedly rubbing her forearm. "So, um..." There was a pregnant pause between them.

"I'll come back soon," Akira offered. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Right," Shiho nodded. "I'll see you then, Akira."

"Bye, Shiho."

\--

Akira was beginning to find himself increasingly frustrated with the volleyball team's complete refusal to implicate Kamoshida. Their fear was written all over their faces, marked in each and every cut and bruise. It was obvious what was happening to anyone who cared to look, and yet the entire school seemed to have turned a blind eye. Were there no other options left to him but to risk becoming a murderer or let their abuser run rampant?

He shook his head as he rounded a corner, avoiding the crowd as best he could, when he heard his name from nearby.

"Kurusu-kun, huh?"

"Yeah, well the rumours are pretty ridiculous, but the report seemed real."

"We don't know that, Ann. Have you ever seen a police report?"

"Well, no, but still..."

"Come on, Ann, you know how difficult it is being targeted by this kind of stuff." He recognized this voice as belonging to the dark haired girl from the other day - the nice one. 

_‘The cute one,’_ His subconscious interjected.

Leaning against the wall and pulling his phone out, he began to listen in.

"Yeah..." This one belonged to the blonde girl - Takamaki? - who sat in front of him in class.

"I just think we should try to get to know him," The dark haired girl said. "He's probably having a hard time."

"I know, it's just..." Takamaki trailed off. "There's a lot going on right now."

"There is," The other girl admitted. "But maybe we could just ask him to have lunch with us or something. Besides, don't you think he's kind of cute?" 

He felt his face heat up.

"Shiho!" Takamaki admonished, while her friend giggled softly.

"Just ask him to eat with us the next time you see him. He's already thinking about it anyway."

"Huh?" Takamaki faltered. "What do you mean?"

Akira suddenly had a very bad feeling about this.

"I mean, he's not the most subtle person in the world, is he? His phone's screen isn't even on."

He looked up towards the sound of the voice and found a pair of large brown eyes looking back at him, a playful smile below them.

"Hello again," Shiho said smugly.

"What the hell, Kurusu," Takamaki snapped. "Have you been eavesdropping this whole time?"

"Ann," came her friend's soft reprimand. "Don't you think that if awful rumours were being spread about you, you might want to stop and listen to some of them?" She was looking very pointedly at Takamaki, who sighed, but backed off, looking apologetically at him.

"So," She said, returning to face Akira. "Lunch tomorrow?"

His first instinct was to refuse. And yet, this girl was the only person other than Ryuji who had bothered to reach out to him. The least he could do was be grateful.

"Sure," He said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "I'll see you then." He bade the two farewell before going to meet with Ryuji once more.

The following morning, he'd watched in shocked silence as Shiho’s battered and broken body was stretchered onto an ambulance, a distraught Ann Takamaki going with her. His fists clenched in his pockets as it sped off, his eyes fixed firmly on the pool of blood left where she’d impacted on the ground.

This had to stop.

One way or another, this had to stop.

\--

It wasn't until several days later, when his phone vibrated silently in his pocket, that Akira heard from Shiho again. Looking up to ensure the teacher's back was turned, he checked it quickly, to see a series of messages.

**Shiho: Sorry to bother you at school, but they want me to start physical therapy tomorrow.  
Shiho: Are you still free to come?  
Akira: Yeah, of course.  
Shiho: Oh, good. I'm pretty nervous.  
Shiho: Do you think you could stop by later today as well?**

There was a long pause between this message and the next.

**Shiho: I'd like to see you.  
Akira: Sure thing. I'll see you then.**

Ann appeared to have caught him typing, as she checked her own phone, before looking over her shoulder and mouthing a question to Akira.

_"Thief business?"_

Akira shook his head in response, at which Ann nodded and returned to her notes.

\--

"You wanna go get something to eat?" Ann asked, turning in her seat as the classroom began to empty out.

"Oh," Akira started, pulling his bag over his shoulder. "Sorry, I already made plans for this afternoon."

"Going to see Shiho again, huh?" Ann said, a knowing smirk on her face. 

Akira paused before replying.

"Yeah, she asked me to stop by, and I said I would." 

Ann's smirk grew into a grin.

"Seems like you're really getting along."

"Yeah," Akira nodded. "She's easy to talk to."

"She says the same thing about you."

"That's good to know."

"I think it's really great that you two are becoming friends, y'know," Ann said, her voice soft.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," She nodded enthusiastically, her pigtails bouncing violently around her head at the motion. "It would've sucked if my two best friends didn't like each other."

Akira gave a quick glance at the time.

"I'm about to head over there now. Do you want to come with me? I'm sure Shiho would be happy to see you."

"Sure," said Ann brightly. "I'd love to!" As Ann began gathering her things, Akira turned to his phone and sent Shiho a message.

**Akira: Hey, just to let you know, Ann wants to come with me today. That's okay, right?  
Shiho: Oh  
Shiho: Yeah, that's great!  
Shiho: But I need a favour.  
Shiho: Don’t tell her that I’m about to start physical therapy.**

Akira frowned at his phone. Weren't they done keeping secrets?

**Akira: I don't know if I feel comfortable hiding something like that from her.  
Shiho: I know, I don't feel good about it either.  
Shiho: But you know how she is.  
Shiho: She'll freak out, and she'll want to come be there with me, and I really love that about Ann.  
Shiho: But I'm just not ready yet.  
Shiho: I'm really scared, and right now I think she needs me to be strong.  
Akira: Look, I won't tell her. But I'm also not going to lie to her if she asks.  
Akira: I really think you should tell her the truth.  
Akira: You said you were going to stop keeping secrets, and she'll be devastated if she finds out you're still hiding things from her.**

It was dirty of him, he knew, to guilt her so. She’d made it perfectly clear, however, that she had no interest in being pitied or coddled. She wanted to hear the truth, and that was it. Even so, Akira began to worry, as several minutes passed before he received another message from Shiho, by which time he and Ann had already begun making their way to the hospital.

**Shiho: You're right.  
Shiho: I'll tell her today. I promise.**

Sighing in relief, he returned his phone to his pocket, waving off Ann's probing and steering the topic of conversation back to school.


	3. Close From Far Away

"Knock knock," Ann said aloud as she swung open Shiho's door. "We're here." She strolled jubilantly into the room, gently hugging Shiho before bouncing into Akira's usual seat.

Akira himself stood still for a few seconds before fetching another seat from the corner of the room and sitting down next to her.

"It's good to see you both," Shiho quietly spoke. "How was school?"

"Oh, y'know," Ann shrugged. "Same old. Miss Kawakami's been looking really tired lately though."

Akira kept his eyes firmly fixed on Shiho, saying nothing.

"Ann," Shiho said quietly, immediately catching his meaning and ending her closest friend's train of thought. "I have something important to tell you." 

Ann immediately silenced herself, reaching forward to take Shiho's hand.

"What is it, Shiho?" Her brow furrowed slightly, her eyes filled with concern.

"It's nothing bad!" Shiho stammered quickly, hoping to assuage Ann's fear. "It's just that I'm going to be starting physical therapy tomorrow. For my legs, you know?"

"Oh," Ann breathed. "Shiho, that's great! I'll come by and be there with you!"

"Well, actually, Ann..." Shiho shot a quick glance in Akira’s direction, as if pleading for help, but he stayed silent. Nevertheless, she continued. "I think it'd be better for me if you didn't."

Ann's face fell.

"Not that having you around wouldn't be good!" Shiho was quick to add. "But I think I need some time before I’m ready for you to see me like that."

"Oh," Ann eventually forced out, her voice strained. "Okay. I understand." She looked downcast. "But if you need anything, just call me and I'll come running, okay?" 

Shiho nodded tearfully. 

"You promise?" Ann stressed, squeezing Shiho's hand.

"I promise." Shiho turned her head towards Akira, eyes locking. "There's something I haven't been completely upfront about with you as well."

Ann frowned, her eyes snapping back and forth between the other two.

"What's that?" Akira asked, voice low.

"I know that you're a Phantom Thief."

There was a brief moment of total silence, in which a pin could've been heard dropping.

"What?" Ann droned, an uncomfortable smile spreading across her face. "Shiho," she said, stretching the name out. "I told you when you asked that he wasn't."

"You're a terrible liar, Ann," Akira and Shiho said in unison, before bursting into laughter.

"Hey!" Ann pouted.

"It's true, you know," Shiho said as she struggled to pull herself together. "The instant I asked if Akira was a Phantom Thief, you put on that exact same fake smile."

"Why exactly were you asking anyway?" Akira interjected, raising an eyebrow.

“Ann just came out and told me that she was one of them. And with how much she talks about you and Ryuji-kun, it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out that you both were as well.”

"So is this what you do when I'm not around?" Ann interrupted, petulant frown still on her face. "Get together and make fun of me?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Akira said bluntly, while Shiho nodded enthusiastically.

"You guys are mean!"

"It comes from a place of love, Ann," Shiho said sagely. 

Ann scoffed.

"I can't believe my two best friends would team up against me like this."

She was spared whatever sarcastic response Shiho had ready by the ringing of her phone, which she promptly answered.

Akira and Shiho exchanged a glance as Ann spoke with her caller.

"Huh? Well, no, today's not really a great day, but..." She trailed off, looking between Akira and Shiho. "Well, actually, give me a second." She covered the phone with her free hand and turned back towards Shiho.

"Work?" Shiho guessed correctly.

"Yeah, one of the other girls didn't show up and they want me to substitute for her. I can tell them I'm busy if you want me to stay."

Shiho shook her head.

"Don't worry about it, you should go." 

Ann gave her a slightly disbelieving look, and Shiho laughed and shook her head again. 

"I'm fine, really. Besides, Akira's here too."

"You're sure?" Ann asked as she raised her phone back to her ear. At Shiho's nod, she resumed talking. "Yeah, that's fine, I can make it. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." After a quick goodbye, she hung up and stood to leave.

"I really am sorry about this.”

"Ann, it's fine, really," Shiho repeated.

"Oh yeah," Ann rolled her eyes. "I bet you just can't wait to get rid of me so you guys can go back to making fun of me behind my back.”

"Well, there's that too," Shiho giggled as Ann leaned in for a parting hug.

Exchanging farewells, Ann quickly left them. Akira stayed silent as Shiho smiled wistfully at the door where she'd left.

"She's a really great friend," she whispered, more to herself than to him. "I'm lucky to have her." Her eyes returned to Akira, as she smiled smugly. "But she is a lot of fun to tease."

He laughed with her before they settled back into comfortable silence.

"Well, I did it," Shiho eventually said, her voice cutting through the quiet. "I told her."

"And it wasn't so bad, huh?"

"Yeah," Shiho mumbled.

"Are you okay, Shiho?" He asked her, concern flooding his mind. She had a curious look on her face, a strange mix of both relief and anxiety.

"I'm just worried about tomorrow. What if I can't do it?" She ran both hands down her face, turning to look at him.

"I'm sure you can, Shiho," He said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone, and was met with a half-hearted smile. "I'm serious. You're a strong person. A lot stronger than you give yourself credit for." 

Shiho looked down at her legs, hands gripping the thin blanket draped over them.

"I don't feel very strong."

Akira shrugged.

"I don't think anyone ever does."

"Well, aren't you just so smart?"

"Hey, I'm trying to be serious here."

"I know. I appreciate it."

\--

Akira could feel the bile rising in his throat as he realized what the room around him was. The wooden cross, with its sinister chains and leather cuffs. The pictures of Shiho plastered all over the walls. The air, thick with the stench of sweat, overwhelming his senses. He collapsed to his knees and started retching, the nausea overtaking him.

“Akira!”

The voice speaking was familiar, but he couldn’t place it. He forced himself back to his feet and whirled around, before freezing in place.

He was no longer in that damned room.

He was in the throne room, its king conspicuously absent. The only other occupant, he noted as his stomach churned violently, was the fake Shiho they had encountered there, scantily clad and smiling vacantly.

“Akira!” 

The voice didn’t seem to belong to her, but he found himself walking towards her regardless. He stumbled forward, and cognitive illusion recoiled, her face contorting into a grimace as his knife plunged into her. She buckled over, falling into him and wailing painfully. He stared into those wide, brown eyes as their sparkle disappeared.

“Shiho!” He choked as she dissolved in his arms.

“Akira!”

He awoke with a start, Morgana sitting on his chest, a worried frown crossing his feline face.

“Morgana?” He mumbled, slowly processing the familiar attic as it came into view around him.

“You were having another nightmare,” Morgana quietly spoke.

“Yeah,” Akira muttered, his head flopping backwards onto the pillow.

“It was about Miss Shiho again, wasn’t it?”

Akira shot the cat a curious look.

“You were saying her name again.”

“Yeah,” Akira repeated after a long pause.

“Akira, how long is this going to go on?” Morgana pressed. “We’ve been over this. What happened to her wasn’t your fault.”

“But what if I could have stopped it?” Akira snapped. “What if I’d acted sooner? Been braver? Been stronger?”

“Akira, even if you had known what was going to happen, there’s no way you could have made it through the Palace on your own in so short a time. And you know Miss Shiho wouldn’t blame you for that.”

“I should have been there for her, Morgana.”

“Akira…” Morgana trailed off. It was evident by now that his words were falling on deaf ears. Nevertheless, he persisted. “You need to stop blaming yourself. It’s not helpful. Not to her, and not to you.”

Whether it was because sleep had already taken him, or because he chose to ignore it, Akira did not reply.

\--

Shiho sat stark upright in her bed, sweat pouring down her forehead.

_Another nightmare._

She took a long drink from the now lukewarm glass of water sitting on her nightstand, before reaching for her phone. She began typing frantically, before allowing her thumb to hover over the ‘send’ button.

Shaking her head, she erased her writings before typing out a new message.

**Shiho: Hey, I know it’s late, but I wanted to thank you for convincing me to tell Ann the truth. I know I would have regretted it otherwise. You’re a good friend.**

She returned the phone to its nightstand, before glancing around the sterile white room around her. She felt tears start to burn at her eyes, but before she could pay them any mind, her phone suddenly started ringing.

**Incoming call from Akira**

Shiho stared at the alert for what felt like several minutes, before scrambling to answer.

“Hello?” She said meekly.

 _“Shiho?”_ Akira’s voice came from the other end. _“I didn’t expect to hear from you so late. Is everything okay?”_

“I couldn’t sleep.” She blurted. She hadn’t expected him to call. She hadn’t expected him to even be awake. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

 _“You didn’t wake me up,”_ He replied quickly. _“I can’t sleep either.”_

“Oh.”

Shiho paused, unsure what to make of this.

 _“Shiho?”_ Akira’s concerned voice cut the silence. _“Do you want to talk?”_

“I do,” She replied, nodding furiously, despite knowing he couldn’t see her. “Is that okay?”

_“Of course it is.”_

“Thanks, Akira,” Shiho sniffled. “You really are a good friend.”

_“So do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”_

“Actually, I think I want you to talk to me.”

_“Really? About what?”_

Again, Shiho shrugged, despite its futility.

“Anything, I guess. How’s school been?”

_“Not much to report. People have mostly stopped talking about me, which is nice.”_

“Yeah, the rumour mill moves pretty fast."

\--

Shiho laughed quietly.

“I can’t believe you really stood there and let them beat up poor Ryuji-kun.”

_“He told me not to get involved, so I didn’t. He looked pretty sore afterwards, but he had a good sense of humour about it."_

“That sounds like him."

Shiho glanced towards her window, and to the faint morning light rising over the skyline.

“It’s pretty late, huh?” She said wistfully.

_“Pretty early, you mean.”_

“Was that supposed to be a joke?”

 _“Hey, I’m tired. They can’t all be winners.”_ Akira yawned, as if to prove his point.

“Hey, Akira,” Shiho said softly. “You don’t have to come by later if you’re going to be too tired.”

 _“I want to be there for you,”_ He replied, voice surprisingly stern.

“Are you sure? I know I just kept you up all night, and you have school soon. It’s really okay if…”

 _“Shiho,”_ He cut her off. _“Do_ you _want me to be there?”_

“Yeah,” She said quickly. “Of course I do.”

_“Then I’ll be there.”_

Still gazing at the horizon, Shiho smiled softly.

“Thank you, Akira. For staying up with me tonight. I think I really needed to hear a friendly voice.”

_“Any time, Shiho. Get some rest, okay?”_

“I will. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

_“Of course. Goodnight, Shiho.”_

“You mean ‘good morning’, right?”

_“Was that supposed to be a joke?”_

Shiho giggled to herself.

“Goodnight, Akira.”

As she set her phone down on the nightstand, Shiho lay her head down, and, for the first time since she’d woken up in this hospital bed, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you go, I'd like to address the presence of the cognitive version of Shiho that appears in Kamoshida's palace in Persona 5 Royal. While I initially hadn't planned on including any elements from P5R, I found the Cognitive Shiho too interesting not to bring up here. I want to explore both Shiho's attempted suicide and Akira's growing attraction towards her as sources of guilt for him, and the Cognitive Shiho, both through her role as an enemy for the party to target and through her overtly sexualized appearance, provides an interesting avenue to do so.
> 
> Once again, that's all from me. Thank you for reading.


	4. Sleep

"Hey," Akira said as he slid into his usual seat by Shiho's bed. 

Her legs, he noticed, were no longer hidden by her blankets. Shiho fidgeted uncomfortably as his eyes unwillingly scanned over them. Her right leg was marred by a severe-looking red scar. Ignoring the nausea building in his gut, he allowed his eyes to wander down the jagged red line towards her ankle, which was misshapen, where he assumed screws had been inserted. She tugged nervously at the hem of her shorts, and Akira tore his eyes away from her injuries, firmly focusing his gaze on her face.

"Hey, at least my left leg got off pretty lightly, right?” Shiho said, forcing a laugh and pointing to a relatively small scar along her left shin. At Akira’s lack of response, she sighed glumly. “It’s worse than you were expecting, huh?”

"It's not that," He said. "I guess I just wasn't prepared for it." Without thinking, his hand reached out to trace one of the scars, only to be slapped away by Shiho, who recoiled sharply.

Akira pulled his hand away, realization snapping him back to reality.

“Shiho, I…”

"Sorry," Shiho whimpered, averting her eyes to look at her feet. “I just… Please don’t…” She trailed off and hugged herself. “I’m sorry.”

"Please, don't apologize." 

She looked back at him, eyes wide with shock at his firm tone. 

"None of this is your fault."

"I..." She said after a moment. "I know."

A heavy, uncomfortable silence descended over them. Shiho had looked away from him again, unwilling to meet his eyes, and she seemed to be biting down hard on her lip. Akira ran a hand through his hair and adjusted his glasses.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here," He said solemnly, moving to stand up. 

Before he could leave his chair, however, Shiho's hand had flown at him, clamping sharply down on his wrist.

"Please don't go!" She exclaimed frantically. "I wanted you to be here." Her eyes were welling up with tears. "I don't think I can do this by myself."

"Shiho," Akira mumbled, guilt swelling in his chest. He looked down at her hand, which was holding tightly onto his own. "I'm sorry. I’ll stay. I just thought that maybe I wasn't the right person."

Shiho shrugged, and rubbed at her eyes with her free hand.

"I don't think there's anyone else I could have asked," She said honestly.

"Right," He muttered, unable to keep a hint of bitterness from tainting his voice.

"That's not what I meant," She said, as if looking into his thoughts. Shiho let out a beleaguered sigh. "I'm scared." Shaking a little, she slid her hand away from his, hugging herself tightly once more. “But I’m glad you’re here.” She turned towards him, her smile betrayed by her trembling lip. She glanced over to her bedside table, to the pink roses he’d brought with him today.

“Remember not to push yourself too far,” Akira said pensively.

“I know,” Shiho said, having heard the same thing from her parents earlier that day, and then again from Ann over the phone. “I just…”

She trailed off, tilting her head, eyes still fixed on the flowers.

“Just what?”

“I’m just frustrated,” She groaned. “I’m so sick of being stuck in this stupid bed. I’m sick of not being able to do anything without having to ask for help. I’m sick of feeling like a weak little girl.”

“Shiho.”

“I want to be able to walk again, Akira. I want to go outside. I want to go to school. I want to come back home, and sleep in my own bed. I _hate_ this place. I hate this tiny room. I hate the stupid, uncomfortable sheets. I hate that it’s always too hot. I hate that it always smells like disinfectant. I hate that I don’t get any privacy. I hate being  
treated like I’m made of glass.”

“Shiho, look at me.”

She took a deep breath, and locked eyes with him.

“I know that you know this won’t be easy. And you know that it’s not going to happen quickly. But you also know that you are going to walk again. You’ll be able to do everything and anything you want to. You just have to put one foot in front of the other.”

“I know,” She nodded. “And I’m ready to do whatever it takes. It’s just hard not to feel like I’m being left behind every minute I spend lying here.”

“Left behind?” Akira repeated.

“You and Ann are out there doing amazing things. Changing the world. I think that’s why I want to be strong for her. To show her that she doesn’t have to worry about me.”

Akira stayed silent, pondering her words while Shiho began tying her hair back into a haphazard ponytail. Akira watched absent-mindedly, before covering up a yawn with his hand.

“Sorry to bore you,” Shiho said dryly, eyeing him with a smirk.

“I’m just…”

“Tired, I know,” She cut him off. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Not really,” He replied. “It’s been a rough few days.”

“How so?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Sounds like you’re dodging the question.”

“There’s just a lot on my mind right now.”

“Akira,” Shiho said gently, pausing to consider her words. “You know that this is a two way street, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Shiho said, with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “That you can talk to me when things are bothering you. There might not be much I can do, but you’re still my friend. And whether you like it or not, that means I’m here for you.”

Akira felt his heart swell just a little bit, despite himself.

“Whether I like it or not, huh?” He smiled. “I guess I’ll just have to find a way to cope with that.”

“Exactly!” Shiho grinned proudly.

“I’m not sure though, having to put up with you all the time? Sounds like a real challenge.”

“Wow, okay, I’m sorry for worrying about you, jerk.”

“I guess I could learn to forgive you.”

Shiho stuck her tongue out at him in response.

It was at this point that the door opened, and Shiho steeled herself, all traces of humour disappearing from her face.

“Are you ready?” Akira asked, pulling himself closer to her bed.

“I’m ready.”

\--

Akira collapsed into his usual booth at LeBlanc, his bag tossed lazily on the floor beside him.

Shiho’s first rehab session had been… intense. The images of her legs, swollen with blood as the physio slowly helped her bend her knees, and of her pained expression as tears streamed down her cheeks, were stained into his mind. He’d also sustained a rather nasty bruise on his right forearm, where her hand had seized it in a vice-like grip. She’d pushed through it though. Painfully and slowly, she had pushed through it.

She had taken her first proverbial step forwards. Soon enough, she’d be taking literal steps too.

As the rehab session ended, her nurses had promptly shooed him away, insisting that she take a bath to ease her muscles, before wheeling her away as she offered him a tired wave over her shoulder.

“Akira,” Came Morgana’s voice, uncharacteristically soft. “You’re finally back.”

“I am,” Akira said, reluctantly opening his eyes.

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks.”

“I really think you should get some sleep.”

Akira shot him a glare.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m right.”

Sighing heavily, Akira nodded.

“I know.”

Retrieving his bag from the floor, he trudged his way upstairs, only barely staying awake long enough to change before stumbling over to his bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

\--

Unfortunately, Akira didn’t get the dreamless sleep for which he hoped. Yet again, he was plagued by images of that dark, miserable, nauseating room. Of the cognitive Shiho, so eager to show off _her_ body, its vapid expression a laughable imitation of the real thing.  
And yet he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

About _her_.

It made him sick. She deserved better than that.

Forcing himself onto his feet, Akira stumbled down the stairs, leaving without eating.

He went about his usual daily routine in a trance, struggling to stay conscious through school, and ignoring the worried looks Ann kept shooting in his direction.

As the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, Akira stood from his chair and left, vaguely aware that Ann was speaking, trying to get his attention. Before he knew where his feet were carrying him, he found himself in front of Shiho’s door. Registering the location with vague surprise, he knocked limply on the cold wooden surface.

“Come in,” Came her warm, soothing voice.

He stumbled through the door and fell into his usual seat, Morgana leaping from his bag.

“Akira?” Shiho said, concern written clearly across her face.

“No rehab session today?” He mumbled.

“No,” She said nervously. “I told you, they want me to take a rest day.”

“Oh,” He said quietly.

“Akira, are you okay?”

“He hasn’t slept in days,” Morgana said pointedly.

“Shut up, Morgana,” Akira groaned.

“Akira,” Shiho said firmly, causing his eyes to snap to hers. “You look exhausted. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” He yawned in return.

“He’s having nightmares,” Morgana argued.

“Why are you even here, Morgana?” Akira shot back.

“Because, moron, I was worried you would pass out in the middle of the street!”

“Akira, would you stop arguing with your cat and look at me?” Shiho snapped.

Sluggishly, Akira obeyed.

“Go home,” Shiho said emphatically. “Get some rest.”

Akira opened his mouth to respond, but the words were lost, as he lost consciousness before they made it to his lips.

\--

Akira’s eyes shot open and he lurched forward, desperately trying to work out where he was. Slowly, as the room came into focus, he relaxed in his seat, before shooting forwards again.

“Shiho!” He exclaimed. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” She assuaged quickly. “You looked like you really needed the sleep.”

“I guess so,” He murmured, moving to adjust his glasses…

...Only to find them absent. He glanced around himself, before his eyes settled on Shiho, who was lazily petting a purring Morgana, curled up next to her.

His glasses sitting comfortably on her nose.

She smiled cheerfully at him.

“So what do you think?”

He took a moment to look at her. Her eyes sparkling with mirth behind his black-rimmed spectacles, framed by her messy bangs.

He felt his face begin to heat up.

“They look good on you,” He said quietly, the words leaving his mouth before he had time to process them.

Shiho seemed taken aback by this answer, a light pink dusting appearing on her cheeks.

“I was just kidding,” She laughed nervously as she took the glasses off, handing them back to him. “But thanks. I think.”

Akira coughed awkwardly, frowning slightly at them as he took them from her.

“So,” Shiho said, quickly regaining her composure. “How come you wear fake glasses?”

He sighed heavily.

“They were supposed to make me stand out less.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not that they did much good in the end.”

“Hm,” Shiho responded simply.

Akira looked up at her, finding her eyes firmly fixed on his, a small smile adorning her face.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

“No,” She replied with a light shake of her head. “I just haven’t seen you without them before.”

Akira gazed down at the simple spectacles.

“I guess I just got used to them,” He said absentmindedly, before sliding them back onto his face. “It feels a little strange to be without them.”

Shiho looked curiously at him, her lips slightly ajar. Before she began to speak, however, she seemed to think better of it.

Akira stifled a yawn.

“Go home, Akira,” Shiho sighed. “You really need to sleep.”

Akira opened his mouth, prepared to argue, but stopped at Shiho’s sympathetic smile.

“Please, Akira?”

“Okay,” He said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. As he stood to leave, Morgana quickly sprung from his position at Shiho’s side.

“Bye, Miss Shiho,” The cat chirped. “Thanks for making this guy get some rest.”

Shiho giggled and waved a small goodbye to Morgana, who promptly clambered back into Akira’s bag.

“You’ve got another rehab session tomorrow, right?” Akira asked as he pulled the bag over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Shiho nodded. “Same time as yesterday.”

“You still want me around?” He asked wryly, running a hand through his hair.

“I do,” She replied, giving him a strange look. “But, Akira…” She pursed her lips, frowning a little.

“What’s up?”

“I know we haven’t known each other for that long. And I know I might not be able to help you with, y’know…” She glanced around, before finishing in a hushed voice. “Phantom Thief stuff. But I still want you to know that if something’s troubling you, you can talk to me about it. Okay?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Shiho, it’s just…” He felt his shoulders sink. “It’s complicated, I guess.”

“That’s a weak excuse, Akira,” Shiho mumbled. “But just make sure you get help if you need it, okay? Wherever you can. You have a lot of friends who care about you.” She stared hard into his eyes. “And that includes me.”

Akira sighed, a smile spreading across his face.

“Thank you, Shiho.”


	5. Alone

Shiho glowered at her phone as tears flowed freely down her face.

Still nothing.

She wiped at her eyes futilely, before painfully pulling her knees close to her chest.

He had never missed a session before.

She scrolled for what felt like the hundredth time through her messages.

**Shiho: Akira, where are you? My rehab session is about to start.  
Shiho: Is everything okay?  
Shiho: Akira, I can’t ask them to postpone it any more. Call me as soon as you can.  
Shiho: I really needed you here today.  
Shiho: Where are you?  
Shiho: Akira?**

She tossed her phone angrily to the foot of her bed, stretching her still aching legs back out.

She buried her face in her hands.

\--

Akira slumped against the wall of the underground walkway as his comrades departed. Today’s excursion into the metaverse had been particularly intense, and he strongly suspected he’d be feeling the effects for several days.

He groaned as he slid down the wall to a sitting position, before retrieving his phone from his pocket, wincing in pain at the movement.

His eyes went wide and he cursed under his breath. Dialling quickly, he pressed the device to his ear.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Sighing heavily, he waited until it rang out, before weighing his options and sending a quick message.

He checked the time, and, bracing himself, started briskly making his way to the underground mall.

**Akira: Shiho, I’m so sorry. I’m on my way there.**

\--

Akira sighed, finding himself once again standing outside Shiho’s room, unable to bring himself to knock.

He looked down at the anemone in his hand, their white petals gleaming under the cold light of the hospital.

Steeling himself, he raised his hand and knocked gently on the door.

“Shiho?” He called tentatively. “It’s me.”

“I’m mad at you,” Came her voice from the other side.

“Do you want me to leave?” Akira responded after a moment.

Silence.

And then…

“No.”

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Nervously, he pushed the door open, and found Shiho curled up at the head of her bed, knees pulled tight to her chest, eyes swollen and red.

Akira felt his heart sink.

“Shiho,” He said quietly. "Shiho, I’m so sorry.” He stood at her bedside, before Shiho gestured towards the chair behind him. Taking his usual seat, he hung his head in shame, saying nothing.

“You weren’t here,” Shiho said, her voice hoarse.

“I know,” He said.

The air felt thick around him.

“I’m really upset,” She said tersely. “I’m really hurt.”

“I know, Shiho. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I got really caught up in… y’know, 'work stuff', and I just…” He trailed off pathetically. “I know that’s no excuse.”

Shiho looked at him, her lips pulled taught in a pained grimace.

“It was really hard today, Akira. I really needed you today, and…” Shiho averted her eyes, as tears began flowing again. “Damn it.” She muttered.

Akira simply looked at her, unsure of what to say. She’d never looked so small - so vulnerable - before.

“I hate feeling like this,” Shiho cried. “I hate being so weak.”

“You aren’t weak.”

“Stop bullshitting me, Akira!” She snapped, her eyes wide.

He recoiled at her vicious tone.

Shiho was breathing heavily, tears trailing to her chin, then falling to her chest. She laughed bitterly.

“I keep telling you not to pity me or patronise me, but I can’t even take a few lousy steps without help from you or Ann. I must look pretty pathetic.”

“Shiho,” Akira said firmly. “I respect you too much to listen to you say that about yourself. You might not see how far you’ve come, but I do. And so does Ann. You shouldn’t beat yourself up like this. Besides, if you’re going to be angry at someone, it should be me. I let you down.”

“I am angry at you,” Shiho muttered, biting her lip. “And you did let me down.”

Akira flinched as if struck. Right though she may have been, it stung to hear her say it.

“But,” She sighed. “I also know that you were probably doing something really important. I know there are a lot of people out there who need help. The kind of help that only you can give them.”

She looked pensive, staring at the wall opposite her.

“People like me.” She added, her voice barely audible. “So even though I’m still mad,” She looked back at him, their eyes meeting. “I forgive…” She trailed off, her eyes hovering over his left arm, with which he was rubbing the back of his neck.

“Akira,” She said, eyes narrowing. “Is that blood?”

“Huh?”

He quickly retracted his arm, glancing at it. Indeed, there was a plume of red seeping through the white cloth of his sleeve.

“What the hell, Akira?” Shiho yelled. “What happened?”

“Oh, well, you know,” He stammered quickly. “It’s not as bad as it looks, it probably just happened while we were all fighting today.”

“Fighting?” Shiho repeated quietly.

Akira’s mind seemed to freeze.

“Do you get hurt a lot at ‘work’?”

“More often than I’d like,” He joked.

Shiho did not laugh.

“Akira. Being a Phantom Thief…” She frowned, her eyes fixed firmly on the darkening stain on his sleeve. “Is it dangerous?”

Akira stayed silent for a moment.

“Sometimes,” He eventually whispered.

“You never said.” Shiho’s voice was hollow.

A tense silence descended over them.

“I think you should go home,” Shiho eventually mumbled. “And get that cut on your arm checked.”

“Yeah,” Akira breathed, pushing himself to his feet. “You’re right.”

“And Akira?”

He stopped in his tracks, turning to look at her.

“I want you to promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“I want you to promise that you and Ann will always come back to me. That you’ll stay safe and not take any stupid risks. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you two.”

A moment passed in which he said nothing.

“I promise.”

And without another word, he walked away, the door closing quietly behind him.

“I don’t want to be alone again.” Shiho said, the words echoing coldly against the walls of her now empty room.

She set about readying herself to sleep, both body and mind feeling especially drained. If Ann and Akira were putting themselves in serious danger for so long without her knowledge, then what else had they hidden from her?

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts.

And yet they persisted.

_They’re still trying to protect you. Still looking down on you._

It probably hadn’t occurred to them, that was all. You’re overthinking it. They know what they’re doing.

_You’re weak, and they both know it._

The room around her suddenly felt a lot smaller. Shiho, her breath ragged and heavy, pulled her knees close to her chest, burying her face in them as she let out a ragged sob.

\--

Akira let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as LeBlanc’s door closed behind him. Trudging up the stairs, he removed his now bloodied shirt, gazing at the bandages Takemi had applied.

_“It’s just a superficial cut. Keep it clean and change the bandages, and you’ll be fine.”_

That was all well and good, he supposed, but it wouldn’t do much for the guilt festering in his chest. He stared hard at his phone, briefly considering trying another call, but he thought better of it.

Frustrated, Akira collapsed into his bed, running his hands over his face.

“Akira, what’s wrong?” Morgana pressed, leaping onto his chest.

“I messed up, Morgana,” Akira groaned. “I was supposed to be with Shiho for her rehab session today.”

“Oh,” The cat said quietly. “How was she?”

“Seemed like it was pretty bad. She was really upset. I feel awful. Especially when I already…”

He rolled over to face the wall, turning his back to Morgana.

“Akira,” Morgana pressed, but to no avail. “You need to learn to forgive yourself.”

If Akira heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it.

\--

Ann walked into Shiho’s room in relatively high spirits, a spring in her step and a smile on her face.

Until she locked eyes on a sullen-looking Shiho, her eyes red and sunken, hunched over and small in her bed.

“Shiho?” Ann said, voice gentle. “What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Shiho looked up, a vague trace of surprise crossing her face. “Oh, Ann.”

She shrugged.

“I had kind of a..." She looked uncomfortably away. "...a fight with Akira yesterday.”

“What?” Ann recoiled in shock. “What happened? I thought you two were getting along really well!”

“It’s not that, Ann…” Shiho mumbled dejectedly. “He was supposed to come help me with a session yesterday, and…”

“Yesterday?” Ann repeated. “But we were… Oh.”

“Yeah,” Shiho sighed. “I was really upset with him. Don’t get me wrong, I know what you guys do is important, but he was supposed to be here." She sighed heavily, her shoulders sinking. "Anyway, he came by and I ended up yelling at him.”

“Really? That’s not like you.”

“I was so angry. So _hurt_. And then I noticed that he was bleeding pretty badly, and that sort of made it all worse.”

“He was bleeding?”

“Yeah, he had this gash on his arm. Said he must’ve got it while you guys were… y’know.”

“Dammit, I knew he was hurt worse than he was letting on!” Ann clenched her fists. “That jerk!”

“Ann!” Shiho protested. “How come you never told me what you guys were doing was so dangerous?”

“Oh, well…” Ann stuttered. “I guess it never really came up?”

“Ann…” Shiho said dejectedly. “Please be honest with me.”

“I’m sorry, Shiho. It’s just that…” Ann trailed off, looking around as if she’d find the words she was looking for written on the walls. “It’s not exactly easy to explain how it all works. You’d probably think I was crazy if I tried to describe it to you.”

“Well, could you at least try? I don’t like being kept in the dark while you guys are out there putting yourselves in danger. I don’t want to lose the people I care about.”

“I’m not trying to hide stuff from you, Shiho, it’s just all really crazy, and…”

“Ann, please.”

Her best friend's eyes bored into her own, pained and pleading.

“Okay, Shiho,” Ann breathed. “I’ll tell you.”

\--

“So Akira’s cat has been able to understand me this whole time?”

“Mhm,” Ann nodded. “He’s probably tried to speak to you before too.”

“I did wonder why he seemed to argue with the little guy so much.”

“Oh yeah,” Ann laughed. “They bicker a lot, but you can tell they’re really good friends. I guess that’s what happens when you live with each other though.”

“I guess I can understand why you didn’t tell me before. It’s definitely bizarre.”

“So you don’t think I’m crazy?”

“Oh, Ann,” Shiho sighed, taking her best friend’s hand. “I definitely think you’re crazy. But I believe you.”

“Shiho,” Ann whined. “Why are you always so mean to me?”

“You just make it too easy, Ann.”

Ann stuck her tongue out.

“By the way, Shiho,” She said, clearly hoping to change the subject. “Those flowers,” She gestured to the bouquet of anemone, which Shiho had eventually housed in the glass vase. “They’re new, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Shiho nodded. “Akira brought them when he…” Shiho stopped talking, her eyes narrowing sharply, before suddenly widening. A snarl began to form on her face.

\--

**Shiho: You went and bought flowers instead of seeking medical help???  
Akira: Uh-oh.  
Shiho: What is the matter with you?!  
Akira: I sort of hoped I had managed to sneak that past you.  
Shiho: You’re really gonna get it next time, Kurusu, you moron.**

Despite himself, Akira smiled at his phone. If she was still willing to threaten him over text, he supposed, then things couldn’t be all that bad.

He slipped his phone back into his pocket, the knot in his chest seeming to loosen, if only a little.


End file.
